Citadel
by cate's corner
Summary: A sequel to Sanctuary - Danny's thoughts while Steve watches him during that story's timeframe. Steve/Danny friendship


This is a bit of an unplanned sequel to Sanctuary. Two of my reviewers for that story asked for a story for Danny's point of view. I loved the suggestion, because Danny is my favourite character, but didn't really have any ideas and didn't know what to write. Then I thought the most obvious thing to do would be to write Danny's thoughts during the same timeframe as Steve's thoughts in Sanctuary.

Thanks to RaeTucker and ZhaLenn for giving me the idea to write this story. I hope you enjoy it.

Citadel

I know he's watching me. I know that beneath, _waaaay_ beneath, that badass insanity, he's trying to make nice. But I don't want nice. I don't want the sympathy of someone I barely know. I don't want _any _of that.

I just want to be left alone.

I want to go home, back where I belong. Back to people I _know_ I can trust.

I want to turn back time. Avoid the mistakes that brought me here. Be the father I _should_ have been. Be a _real_ father again, _all_ the time. Not when some money-grabbing leech of a lawyer tells me I can.

I want something that I know I'll never have, and… God, it hurts. It makes my life a living hell. And now this. Like my life isn't lousy enough already, I now have Rambo-Boy for a partner.

Did I _ask_ to be? No. It was just wham, bam, and hey presto! I got me a big new shiny partner.

Do I _want_ him to be? Hell, I don't have a choice there either. He's my new best friend, whether I want him to be or not, and… jeez, am I _that_ entertaining?

'_Damn it_, _stop_ _watching me_! _Yeah_, _watch the road instead_. _Drive like normal_,_ civilised people do_'

God, I hate this. I hate this damn island. I hate the heat, and the beach, and… yeah, more than that, more than everything, I hate feeling like this. I hate living this lie. I hate smiling at my baby girl when, each time I see her, and hold her, part of me dies inside.

Yes, I'm her father, but not the way I want to be. _Never_ the way I wanted to be. She's growing up so fast, so damn fast. Doing it all with _him_. And all _I_ can do is watch.

I buy her a toy rabbit, and _he_ buys her the real thing. How the hell can I compete with that?

I can't. Hell, he makes more in a month than I do all year. He could buy her a whole colony of Mr Hoppys, and it wouldn't even dent his bank balance. So I don't even try.

I know Mr Smartass SuperSeal here would call it defeatist self pity. I call it self preservation.

I've lost my wife, my daughter, my home, and most of my dignity to this pineapple infested hellhole. I'll be damned if I lose my identity too, so… yeah, whatever he or anyone else says, I don't care. This is the only part of me I have left. The only part of me that no-one can take away.

The tie stays.

Yeah, you can take this boy out of Jersey, but you'll _never_ take Jersey out of the boy, and… _thank_ _God_. We're back in what passes here for civilisation. And that civilisation has air conditioning. If I sit here long enough, close my eyes, and think about it hard enough - yeah, I could almost be back in Jersey.

And _still_ he watches me. Maybe it's the AC in here, cooling me off, but… no, I don't mind it now. I really don't. He knows I need some space here, and he's giving it to me. Hey, there just might be hope for him yet.

Or maybe he just feels like me right now, and… no. No. I can't compare my loss against his. I can go back to this beautiful city behind me at any time. All _he_ can do is stand at his father's grave.

We've both lost so much. Neither of us deserve to lose any more. Both of us have to fight back. For _his_ father, and _my_ daughter, we'll make this partnership work.

And for me? For Grace? Well, I might not have a say in her upbringing, but I can give her a gift more precious than that. More precious than a world full of Mr Hoppys.

I can protect her now, more than this badge, or any of my work here, has ever let me do before. I have the means, and the immunity, to keep this island clean. Keep my daughter safe.

Until now, I've kept that oath alone. Now I'll have SuperSeal here to back me up.

As my partner? That's a given already. As my friend? Yeah, I might just go for that too. Hey, give me long enough, and a big enough stick, and… hell, I'll even get him house-trained.


End file.
